A personal reflection on parenting, pressure, and the difference between talent and interest
A short story about an 8-year-old, a forced choice, and a father figuring it out
The system is nuts. As parents, it’s hard not to get all caught up in it. I became that “travel ball dad” and had to have an 8-year-old make a choice between AAU Basketball or Cal Ripken Baseball. There felt like no choice but to make the choice, because of the system.
I think if I got a kid who is showing me, “I love baseball,” then I gotta say, “Hey, kid, this is the system. Choose.” If my kid were academically driven (which he wasn’t), I might have said, “Like it or not, you gotta have perfect grades.”
I didn’t push him in school as I did in sports... and I still probably fudged the whole thing up. Ah. Parenting.
When reading this comment over and making a few grammatical corrections, my eyes were drawn to: “If my kid were academically driven (which he wasn’t).”
I believe my son was “academically gifted,” but not necessarily “academically driven.”
Did I get that part right?
It’s an answer only he can provide. He’s 22. I’ll ask next time we’re together.
All I knew was my own experience. In grammar school, I was identified as “Gifted & Talented,” but I had no interest in the special classes. They were boring. I preferred riding and building bikes.
I dreamt of becoming a mechanic.
They wanted me to be a mechanical engineer.
There’s a difference between talents and interests. Finding the intersection is super hard to figure out for ourselves, much less for others.
As a parent and a teacher, my approach was to let their passions lead. I also tried to understand the passion behind the passion.
“Son, what is your favorite part about playing baseball?”
“Playing with my friends and seeing new places.”
“If you like teamwork and travel, there are a ton of ways to do that. Baseball isn’t the only way.”
This short story was prompted by a note exchange between Paul Dotta on another story you might enjoy here:
I Got a 1.0 GPA and Became a College Professor
Teaching failure the hard way to a room full of straight-A engineering students
Thank you for reading.
Health, happiness, kindness, respect
for every being and all things.
— Andrew
